A “Phone Call” from President Obama to former Gov. Mike Huckabee (R-Arkansas), as envisioned by Ann Germanson, Milwaukee:
“Mike! Barry here – Barry Obama. Yeah, that’s my childhood nickname from when I was growing up in Hawaii. I notice the other day you told a talk radio host that you’d love to know more about me, so I thought I’d help you out.
“You do seem a little confused about me, Mike. For one thing you said you ‘knew’ that I grew up with my father and grandfather in Kenya and learned anti-British and anti-colonial attitudes that are ‘much different than ours’.
“Later you said you ‘misspoke’ and meant to say ‘Indonesia’ but that was quite a mouthful of misspeaking since there was no British colonialism and no Mau-Mau uprisings in Indonesia.
“Actually, I wish I could have grown up with a father, but mine left when I was a year old. He and my mom met when he came to the University of Hawaii on a foreign exchange scholarship. When the marriage didn’t work out, I was brought up by my mom and grandparents.
“My mom was a Kansas girl (you know, like Dorothy). She was a white woman, just like your mom, Mike. She moved to Hawaii with her folks after her dad, a World War II veteran, got a business opportunity in Honolulu. When I was six, mom married an Indonesian man and we lived in Jakarta.
“You told Bill O’Reilly that I had ‘different experiences’ from normal American kids who grew up going to Boy Scout meetings and playing Little League baseball in towns with Rotary Clubs. In truth, Mike, I was a Boy Scout in Indonesia. And by the way, I went to a Catholic school which opened and closed each day with Christian prayers. (And Honolulu has had a Rotary Club since 1905.)
“When I was ten, my mom sent me back to Hawaii so I’d be sure to receive an American education. I lived with grandma and grandpa for a couple of years, until mom moved back from Indonesia. (Maybe you’ve seen the picture of me with my high school basketball team – we were champs. They called me Barry O’Bomber because of my jump shot.)
“Actually, Mike, I wrote two books about my life so if you’re really interested you could look them up in your local library. I see you’ve just written a new book which I’m anxious to read. After some of the things you’ve been saying about me, I’d like to know more about you, too.”